Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
