she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Everything about him screamed your future.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Green mimosas i think yes
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
