I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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