I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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