Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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