i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
You're like the curious george of whores
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
