you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
