Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
