I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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