we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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