We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
