R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Randomize