at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
The power of my boobs compel you
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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