sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
what is it with giant penises always finding me
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
