If i come over, it means nothing
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
