I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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