Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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