fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
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Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
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Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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