I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
