I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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