Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
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