Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize
