She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
They have beer where we have blood.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize