you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
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