Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I can't put those talents on a resume
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
