ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
