we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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