the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
