its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
