i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
