nut hugger
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
