so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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