it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I could fuck to npr.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
