Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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