I feel like abortions should bother me more
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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