She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
