just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
