You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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