you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
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