I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
