omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
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