yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
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