I accidentally had phone sex last night
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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