someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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