i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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