so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Is it because I queefed?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
