Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
