I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
