in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
