It's like God shit irony all over that family
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
