YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
