She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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