Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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