If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
