There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Randomize
