Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
