Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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