I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
