i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
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