I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
