are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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