I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
