he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
You're a waste of cheezeits
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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