went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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