STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Randomize
