I'm going to jail i love you
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
