i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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