I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Randomize
