two words: eviction party
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Randomize
