if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
4 words: hood of his car
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
